Let's See What You Are Made Of...

We've been fortunate enough to send two kids off to college. Up until that time, I had a huge impact on their education because we are a homeschool family. We take our faith, family, and education quite seriously. Due to where we live, our social life was a bit limited. Even though they were part of an Educational Co-op group and participated in activities and they attended a youth group they didn't really hang out with their peers for pizza and movie nights. So going off to college, they were little tiny fish in a pretty big pond.

When the "big day" came for them to enter our community college I had a little prepping to do. I had to explain to them that just because a professor says something, doesn't mean it's the truth. That was a reality concept for them to grasp, especially since they were raised to respect and submit to authority. We were also careful to surrounded them with Biblically wise council. Never the less, college is a place where students are going to hear and experience situations that are going to directly rub against everything they had been taught. I would tell them, "This is where the rubber meets the road. You'll be faced with information that is completely opposite of what you've been raised to believe. And you, not me, not you father, not your uncle, not your anybody will be there to tell you if it is right or wrong. You will have to face yourself and what you believe. We're gonna find out what you're really made of." And off they went.

They both grew to handle difficult situations well. I would often ask opened ended questions, giving them an opportunity to share what they had experienced, on a daily bases. If they said something didn't matter, I would ask what the something was. I didn't let them off the hook easily. I had seen many Christian children walk away from the faith in the college years. I was determined to fight spiritually (on my knees) as well in the natural (daily conversations) for my children. The world probably seen me as overbearing, but I didn't care. Most people thought of me that way anyhow since I homeschooled. But I could see the writing on the wall for this generation of young people and if the culture could convince them there wasn't a God to be accountable to - it would. I had to fight for my faith, it wasn't handed down to me. I wasn't going to sit back and let the culture rob me and the blessings for my future generational line.

They grew and became prepared for the next step. Life away from home, on campus. This meant they would not be coming home at night. They would be given more opportunities to explore life ... and face what they believed. Both children had been on our local No Messin' Around team. They taught abstinence before marriage. Now they both would have ample opportunity to test that teaching. I told both of them before I left the campus, "You've taught other students about abstinence but now you'll have to decide if you really believe in it - for yourself - especially if you have a boyfriend. It's about you and what you believe - I won't be there, your dad won't be there -  ultimately, it's between you and God. If for some reason you think you're going to do something you'd better use protection. I don't have to know what you choose, but as any good parent, I desire you to continue to be wise in your choices." I gave them a hug and a kiss and walked away to let them make their own decision.

I would pray for them each day. I stayed as close through phone conversations as much as possible.  I watched my girls grow and prosper. It's possible they've done things I don't know about. However, they're at an age that even if I don't know about it - it's between them and God. I am confident that the Lord's love and grace would help them if they found themselves in an undesirable situation. Their father and I are still here for wise counsel but the transfer of parent dependence and God dependence has taken place. On the outside things look good. They both have a relationship with the Lord and hold fast to our family values. I humbly say, I guess what we taught them - they still believe...and I continue to pray.

God Bless!
Deborah :)

Forgiveness - Not So Easy

He was a hard man. His life was filled with sorrow of many kinds. A broken child grew into a broken adult and he made poor choices that deeply affected his family and himself. When he was drunk, he was abusive. When he was sober, he was unpredictable. His lifestyle led him stammering his way through with great instability until the final years of his life.

She loved him very deeply. Yet, she would find her life with him painful as she would be left with the children for days on end, without any resources other than self determination to keep her family going. When he returned from a drinking binge, she would readjust her lifestyle to allow him in. Times were tough and she made the best of all she could.

The children grew and were determined to do better with their own families. Many accomplished their goals. When their parent’s 50th anniversary came, they celebrated with food, fellowship, and gifts. Both parents were present. However, by the time the evening approached, they went their separate ways. He went back to the house they had lived in for many years, which had an outhouse for a bathroom. And she went back to her apartment, that had modern facilities.

Only God knows for sure if she forgave him upon her death bed. He had given her many reasons not to, even bringing an illegitimate child into this world. However, no one could ever deny how she tried desperately to work with him through the years. Perhaps her love for him was greater than herself? Maybe the Lord gave her a portion of divine love for this desperate man, whereby; she could continuously try to work though things time after time.

I like to think she did forgive him in the end. Her character and development of faith leads me to think that in the end she forgave all. She labored in death until the time came for her to depart. I think in some cases when people have issues – there’s a type of spiritual cleansing that takes place so that when they leave their bodies, they can enter the holy of holies sanctified, purified, and washed by the blood of the lamb. In her last days, while she was in the hospital, he had a stroke by her bedside. He became 90% blind. With only seeing through one eye, the diameter of a straw hole, he had spent his last days sitting and meditating over his life. I believe his "purging" took much longer because he never took time to examine his life and consider his wrong doings. I had the opportunity to share Christ with him, which he assured he believed in Him. And once again, I like to believe he came to the true saving knowledge of Christ and was forgiven and forgave all who he carried oughts for.

Even though they remained married for over 50 years, they ended up living apart, dying apart, and being buried – apart. Their bodies and stones being placed in two separate cemeteries is an example of how time can slip away and unsettled matters can live on after we pass on.

Some offenses run deep. This is especially true when a person causes pain and destruction, in exchange to fulfill their own selfish desires. However, if we can grasp the spiritual concept that our ability to forgive is a choice that God calls us to, He will honor our desire to be forgiving. We can discover a deeper relationship in Him as He walks us through the journey of forgiveness.

Forgiveness isn’t always based on what we can do on our own accord. There are difficult situations where we need to rely on God’s desire for us to walk in forgiveness. If we don't we can slip into living behind the "walls of unforgiveness" which we put up from offenses. However, we mature spiritually as we choose to trust and rely on Christ; who Himself carried all sins to the cross and made a path for freedom for mankind, even in forgiveness.

When we realize the trials of forgiveness develop a greater spiritual dependence for believing in God to help us, we can rejoice with confidence that He will work on our behalf. After all, it’s His desire we experience this precious gift in both receiving and giving forgiveness. There is no greater joy than to be forgiven and there is no greater sense of walking in freedom than to forgive our offenders. We remove ourselves from the responsibility of being their god, and trying to make the wrong doings "right". When we forgive and release the offender to the Lord, God deals with them directly. This spiritual journey isn't always easy though. In scripture Peter asked, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven. (Matt 18:21&22) There are some situations where we will choose over and over again to forgive because that is what the Lord calls us to do.

The feeling of freedom doesn’t come immediately. It comes as we trust that God is going to take over and we fight the temptation to allow anger settle in our hearts and take root. Forgiveness comes when:

1. We choose to release injustice done to us and give it to God.
2. We choose to meditate on healthy (Godly) thoughts.
3. Pray for God to help our offender.
4. Allow time to bring feelings of freedom.

There is freedom in Christ and it can take time and persistence. Just as it takes time for a child to learn to tie his shoe, spiritual applications take time to develop too. If we were to calculate forgiveness as Jesus spoke we’d see that it is a process. Multiply 70 x7 and it comes to 490 times! If you were to think about it, it’s like forgiving the offender, once a day, for over a year! It doesn’t always come easy. Attempting to walk in forgiveness is far better than leaving it unsettled and possibly taking it to the grave. The peace and maturity you receive as you choose to do it God’s way brings a freedom that nothing else can.

God Bless!
Deborah :)

Blessed or Cursed?

Just a few short days ago, I shared a special blessing with my facebook pals. I posted that a friend had texted my husband asking him if he wanted a dorm refrigerator for one of our girls who are in college. The timing was perfect!
Our eldest daughter’s roommate, who had provided a refrigerator, was not returning for the spring semester. The quad our daughter is in allows her to cook, but she would need a refrigerator for her personal foods. Earlier in the day she and I had discussed the need for a refrigerator, strategically planned on how she would save money to get one, and prayed the Lord would help us.

That evening, my husband came home from work; he told me there was a mini dorm refrigerator in the garage for our daughter. He appreciated the gift from his friend and found it amusing that people try to text him when he simply doesn’t know how to use that kind of technology. Me on the other hand, I was astonished, excited, and truly felt blessed that the Lord had moved on the situation so quickly.
However, this morning the story quickly changed. When I went to our household refrigerator there was a puddle on the floor. My heart sunk, “Oh no! Not this, it can’t be. We get blessed with a mini refrigerator and now this?! I hate that devil!” I began to clean up the melted substances in front of it and my blood began to boil. After cleaning up the mess, I opened the freezer side. The meat was thawed, the berries were dripping, and the ice was melted from the top down – it was clearly the source of the puddle I had cleaned up. In hopes of the door not being shut correctly, I decided to get scientific. I made sure there wasn’t anything wedging the door open and monitored the temperature. After about an hour it seemed the machine was holding its temperature, but didn’t get colder. I called the repair man to discover that he would not be in for two days, he took weekends off. I continued my scientific quest and unplugged it for another half hour. I lost two degrees. I plugged it back in and gained one degree and it maintained an improper temperature for the next few hours. I didn’t want to burn the motor and unplugged the refrigerator.

I called my girls and asked them to help me clean out the refrigerator. We put most of our items in boxes and let the great outdoors be our “natural” refrigerator. The items we frequently use were placed in the blessed little refrigerator. While shifting my food around, I had a paradigm shift in my thinking. I suddenly became aware that the Lord knew my household refrigerator was on the fritz. He made a way to sustain us for the weekend. The only thing the devil had on me was the way I would think about it. Leaving me with the question, do I live as a blessed child of God or as a cursed human on this earth?
The answer is both. Indeed, I am a cursed human on this earth. From the time of Adam and Eve, mankind has struggled with “the curse,” “Cursed is the ground because of you; through painful toil you will eat food from it all the days of your life,” (Gen 3:17b) And yet because I AM a child of God ,through the sufferings and bloodshed of Jesus Christ, I AM BLESSED! “Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us,” (Gal 13:3 a) Because of the work of the cross, I can walk in a blessing, “Blessed are those whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered,” (Romans 4:7).

Realizing that I am blessed doesn’t exempt me from the follies of a fallen world. I face just as many trials and tribulations as someone who has not been delivered from the curse. Yet, I have the hope, anticipation, and even expectation of victory, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world,” (John 16:33)

In this corrupt world, refrigerators will break as well as many other things. The enemy of my soul would like me to believe I remain in that fallen state of the curse. But God’s Written and Alive Word tells me otherwise. As I confess His truth I discover joy, strength, and peace while I wait for His outcome. May you be truly blessed this 2012 year. No matter what comes your way, fix your eyes on Him. He has the victory for you. Oh yes, as for the world ending in 2012, don’t worry about that either. Rest in knowing that the Father will set the time and mankind will not be able predict such things, “But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father,” (Mark 13:32). Peace and blessings be with you in 2012!