Forgiveness - Not So Easy

He was a hard man. His life was filled with sorrow of many kinds. A broken child grew into a broken adult and he made poor choices that deeply affected his family and himself. When he was drunk, he was abusive. When he was sober, he was unpredictable. His lifestyle led him stammering his way through with great instability until the final years of his life.

She loved him very deeply. Yet, she would find her life with him painful as she would be left with the children for days on end, without any resources other than self determination to keep her family going. When he returned from a drinking binge, she would readjust her lifestyle to allow him in. Times were tough and she made the best of all she could.

The children grew and were determined to do better with their own families. Many accomplished their goals. When their parent’s 50th anniversary came, they celebrated with food, fellowship, and gifts. Both parents were present. However, by the time the evening approached, they went their separate ways. He went back to the house they had lived in for many years, which had an outhouse for a bathroom. And she went back to her apartment, that had modern facilities.

Only God knows for sure if she forgave him upon her death bed. He had given her many reasons not to, even bringing an illegitimate child into this world. However, no one could ever deny how she tried desperately to work with him through the years. Perhaps her love for him was greater than herself? Maybe the Lord gave her a portion of divine love for this desperate man, whereby; she could continuously try to work though things time after time.

I like to think she did forgive him in the end. Her character and development of faith leads me to think that in the end she forgave all. She labored in death until the time came for her to depart. I think in some cases when people have issues – there’s a type of spiritual cleansing that takes place so that when they leave their bodies, they can enter the holy of holies sanctified, purified, and washed by the blood of the lamb. In her last days, while she was in the hospital, he had a stroke by her bedside. He became 90% blind. With only seeing through one eye, the diameter of a straw hole, he had spent his last days sitting and meditating over his life. I believe his "purging" took much longer because he never took time to examine his life and consider his wrong doings. I had the opportunity to share Christ with him, which he assured he believed in Him. And once again, I like to believe he came to the true saving knowledge of Christ and was forgiven and forgave all who he carried oughts for.

Even though they remained married for over 50 years, they ended up living apart, dying apart, and being buried – apart. Their bodies and stones being placed in two separate cemeteries is an example of how time can slip away and unsettled matters can live on after we pass on.

Some offenses run deep. This is especially true when a person causes pain and destruction, in exchange to fulfill their own selfish desires. However, if we can grasp the spiritual concept that our ability to forgive is a choice that God calls us to, He will honor our desire to be forgiving. We can discover a deeper relationship in Him as He walks us through the journey of forgiveness.

Forgiveness isn’t always based on what we can do on our own accord. There are difficult situations where we need to rely on God’s desire for us to walk in forgiveness. If we don't we can slip into living behind the "walls of unforgiveness" which we put up from offenses. However, we mature spiritually as we choose to trust and rely on Christ; who Himself carried all sins to the cross and made a path for freedom for mankind, even in forgiveness.

When we realize the trials of forgiveness develop a greater spiritual dependence for believing in God to help us, we can rejoice with confidence that He will work on our behalf. After all, it’s His desire we experience this precious gift in both receiving and giving forgiveness. There is no greater joy than to be forgiven and there is no greater sense of walking in freedom than to forgive our offenders. We remove ourselves from the responsibility of being their god, and trying to make the wrong doings "right". When we forgive and release the offender to the Lord, God deals with them directly. This spiritual journey isn't always easy though. In scripture Peter asked, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven. (Matt 18:21&22) There are some situations where we will choose over and over again to forgive because that is what the Lord calls us to do.

The feeling of freedom doesn’t come immediately. It comes as we trust that God is going to take over and we fight the temptation to allow anger settle in our hearts and take root. Forgiveness comes when:

1. We choose to release injustice done to us and give it to God.
2. We choose to meditate on healthy (Godly) thoughts.
3. Pray for God to help our offender.
4. Allow time to bring feelings of freedom.

There is freedom in Christ and it can take time and persistence. Just as it takes time for a child to learn to tie his shoe, spiritual applications take time to develop too. If we were to calculate forgiveness as Jesus spoke we’d see that it is a process. Multiply 70 x7 and it comes to 490 times! If you were to think about it, it’s like forgiving the offender, once a day, for over a year! It doesn’t always come easy. Attempting to walk in forgiveness is far better than leaving it unsettled and possibly taking it to the grave. The peace and maturity you receive as you choose to do it God’s way brings a freedom that nothing else can.

God Bless!
Deborah :)

Blessed or Cursed?

Just a few short days ago, I shared a special blessing with my facebook pals. I posted that a friend had texted my husband asking him if he wanted a dorm refrigerator for one of our girls who are in college. The timing was perfect!
Our eldest daughter’s roommate, who had provided a refrigerator, was not returning for the spring semester. The quad our daughter is in allows her to cook, but she would need a refrigerator for her personal foods. Earlier in the day she and I had discussed the need for a refrigerator, strategically planned on how she would save money to get one, and prayed the Lord would help us.

That evening, my husband came home from work; he told me there was a mini dorm refrigerator in the garage for our daughter. He appreciated the gift from his friend and found it amusing that people try to text him when he simply doesn’t know how to use that kind of technology. Me on the other hand, I was astonished, excited, and truly felt blessed that the Lord had moved on the situation so quickly.
However, this morning the story quickly changed. When I went to our household refrigerator there was a puddle on the floor. My heart sunk, “Oh no! Not this, it can’t be. We get blessed with a mini refrigerator and now this?! I hate that devil!” I began to clean up the melted substances in front of it and my blood began to boil. After cleaning up the mess, I opened the freezer side. The meat was thawed, the berries were dripping, and the ice was melted from the top down – it was clearly the source of the puddle I had cleaned up. In hopes of the door not being shut correctly, I decided to get scientific. I made sure there wasn’t anything wedging the door open and monitored the temperature. After about an hour it seemed the machine was holding its temperature, but didn’t get colder. I called the repair man to discover that he would not be in for two days, he took weekends off. I continued my scientific quest and unplugged it for another half hour. I lost two degrees. I plugged it back in and gained one degree and it maintained an improper temperature for the next few hours. I didn’t want to burn the motor and unplugged the refrigerator.

I called my girls and asked them to help me clean out the refrigerator. We put most of our items in boxes and let the great outdoors be our “natural” refrigerator. The items we frequently use were placed in the blessed little refrigerator. While shifting my food around, I had a paradigm shift in my thinking. I suddenly became aware that the Lord knew my household refrigerator was on the fritz. He made a way to sustain us for the weekend. The only thing the devil had on me was the way I would think about it. Leaving me with the question, do I live as a blessed child of God or as a cursed human on this earth?
The answer is both. Indeed, I am a cursed human on this earth. From the time of Adam and Eve, mankind has struggled with “the curse,” “Cursed is the ground because of you; through painful toil you will eat food from it all the days of your life,” (Gen 3:17b) And yet because I AM a child of God ,through the sufferings and bloodshed of Jesus Christ, I AM BLESSED! “Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us,” (Gal 13:3 a) Because of the work of the cross, I can walk in a blessing, “Blessed are those whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered,” (Romans 4:7).

Realizing that I am blessed doesn’t exempt me from the follies of a fallen world. I face just as many trials and tribulations as someone who has not been delivered from the curse. Yet, I have the hope, anticipation, and even expectation of victory, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world,” (John 16:33)

In this corrupt world, refrigerators will break as well as many other things. The enemy of my soul would like me to believe I remain in that fallen state of the curse. But God’s Written and Alive Word tells me otherwise. As I confess His truth I discover joy, strength, and peace while I wait for His outcome. May you be truly blessed this 2012 year. No matter what comes your way, fix your eyes on Him. He has the victory for you. Oh yes, as for the world ending in 2012, don’t worry about that either. Rest in knowing that the Father will set the time and mankind will not be able predict such things, “But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father,” (Mark 13:32). Peace and blessings be with you in 2012!